There are many reasons I wrote RAISING ABEL.
- I knew the story could help others in a similar position.
- I believe in the saying, "Write what must not be forgotten" (Isabel Allende).
- I also wrote it to sell it.
This story is now available on Amazon under the title RAISING ABEL with the pen name Carolyn Nash. If you have read the book, and you have a chance, I would so appreciate it if you'd leave a review on Amazon. It's of great help.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Results of the Book Giveaway
In scanning back over the blog, I realized I hadn't given the final results for the book giveaway on the 9th.
On Amazon.com, 711 books were given away.
On Amazon.co.uk (the United Kingdom Amazon site) 89 books were given away.
A nice, even 800 books. :)
If you or anyone you know got one of these, I would certainly appreciate a review on Amazon, particularly the Amazon UK site. There are no reviews yet in the UK.
As I've mentioned, I'm somewhat conflicted about "selling" the book through this blog. Selling in any form is difficult for me. Yet, I have two boys to raise, so here I go. If you can spread the word about the book, that would be great.
Too much hard sell?
I also would like to take the opportunity to thank ISoCannotMakeThis Sh!tUp.blogspot.com and OneMothersDay.blogspot.com for their reviews of RAISING ABEL. A positive review from a trauma mama is worth so much to me.
Oh, and by the way, Kirkus Reviews posted a wonderful review of RA. You can see it at
http://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/carolyn-nash/raising-abel-qiHHTZkA/
On Amazon.com, 711 books were given away.
On Amazon.co.uk (the United Kingdom Amazon site) 89 books were given away.
A nice, even 800 books. :)
If you or anyone you know got one of these, I would certainly appreciate a review on Amazon, particularly the Amazon UK site. There are no reviews yet in the UK.
As I've mentioned, I'm somewhat conflicted about "selling" the book through this blog. Selling in any form is difficult for me. Yet, I have two boys to raise, so here I go. If you can spread the word about the book, that would be great.
Too much hard sell?
I also would like to take the opportunity to thank ISoCannotMakeThis Sh!tUp.blogspot.com and OneMothersDay.blogspot.com for their reviews of RAISING ABEL. A positive review from a trauma mama is worth so much to me.
Oh, and by the way, Kirkus Reviews posted a wonderful review of RA. You can see it at
http://www.kirkusreviews.com/book-reviews/carolyn-nash/raising-abel-qiHHTZkA/
Saturday, December 17, 2011
121711 Maybe I'm happy
Last night, Abel, Jacob, and I were sitting in the living room watching something, maybe Kung Fu Panda. Abel and Jacob had been wrestling and laughing on the couch. Abel was torturing Jacob by tickling his feet. Jacob was torturing Abel by calling him a big fat turtle (yes, it must have been Kung Fu Panda). When they tired of that, Abel moved over to the arm chair and sat, hands folded, staring at his intertwined fingers. After a minute or two, he looked up at me.
"I feel weird," he said.
I got that little lurch in the pit of my stomach. "What do you mean, weird?"
"I don't know. I'm not tired. I'm not wired up."
"Yes?"
"I'm not mad."
Thank God.
He paused for another few seconds. He looked up at me and smiled. "Maybe I'm happy."
We are going through a very good time right now. Jacob, being 6, is ecstatic that Christmas is in one week. Abel is "maybe" happy. I am definitely happy... and trying not to be scared by the happiness. It's hard not to let the old training come to the fore, that if you're happy, something has to happen to spoil it. Truthfully, the little bit of fear that I'm experiencing is so much less than in past days. And, Amelia has also finally got it through my thick head that fear doesn't equal death. Fear can just be fear, a little anxiety, and doesn't have to rule my life, or my sons'.
For those of you in the middle of the bad times, hold onto the image of Abel sitting in that chair, saying those words: "Maybe I'm happy." It can happen. And it can be the most wonderful reward for all the struggles. I always said to Amelia that I could make it through anything if I only knew how the story would turn out. While I know we still have challenges, and no one knows what life will bring, right now, right this minute with Abel stretched out on the couch scratching Squeaker's ears, and Jacob crawling around on the floor giving voices to his Power Rangers, I am so happy. It's all any parent could want.
"I feel weird," he said.
I got that little lurch in the pit of my stomach. "What do you mean, weird?"
"I don't know. I'm not tired. I'm not wired up."
"Yes?"
"I'm not mad."
Thank God.
He paused for another few seconds. He looked up at me and smiled. "Maybe I'm happy."
We are going through a very good time right now. Jacob, being 6, is ecstatic that Christmas is in one week. Abel is "maybe" happy. I am definitely happy... and trying not to be scared by the happiness. It's hard not to let the old training come to the fore, that if you're happy, something has to happen to spoil it. Truthfully, the little bit of fear that I'm experiencing is so much less than in past days. And, Amelia has also finally got it through my thick head that fear doesn't equal death. Fear can just be fear, a little anxiety, and doesn't have to rule my life, or my sons'.
For those of you in the middle of the bad times, hold onto the image of Abel sitting in that chair, saying those words: "Maybe I'm happy." It can happen. And it can be the most wonderful reward for all the struggles. I always said to Amelia that I could make it through anything if I only knew how the story would turn out. While I know we still have challenges, and no one knows what life will bring, right now, right this minute with Abel stretched out on the couch scratching Squeaker's ears, and Jacob crawling around on the floor giving voices to his Power Rangers, I am so happy. It's all any parent could want.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
121311 A most wonderful gift
When I came home from work yesterday, Abel had cleaned the house. Living room, bathroom, hall, stairs, front porch, kitchen, dining room, even my office. He swept, did dishes, put things away.
He did it just to make me happy.
He did it just to make me happy.
Friday, December 9, 2011
December 9th Book Giveaway - Wow!
To all of you who helped spread the word, THANK YOU! I'm a little over halfway through this giveaway day and 368 copies have been downloaded!
I encourage you to tell anyone you want to about this free day. The more copies spread out into the world, the better!
By the way, if you don't have a Kindle, you can download free software from Amazon so that you can use your computer as an e-book reader. Not only can you get RAISING ABEL, you can get any other Kindle e-book. There are loads of them available for free.
I encourage you to tell anyone you want to about this free day. The more copies spread out into the world, the better!
By the way, if you don't have a Kindle, you can download free software from Amazon so that you can use your computer as an e-book reader. Not only can you get RAISING ABEL, you can get any other Kindle e-book. There are loads of them available for free.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
RAISING ABEL (Kindle) should be free tomorrow, Dec. 9th, on Amazon
Amazon has a new program that allows me to put RAISING ABEL up for no charge from midnight (Pacific time) tonight until midnight tomorrow night. I encourage you to spread the word to anyone who might have been interested in reading the story to download it free.
Yes, I'd like to make money off the book. More importantly, I want people to read it. I know it would have helped me when I was going through it to know that someone else had survived all of the ups and downs.
By the way, as of this date, 84 copies of the book have been sold. Being a writer is definitely NOT the way to make a living. :)
Yes, I'd like to make money off the book. More importantly, I want people to read it. I know it would have helped me when I was going through it to know that someone else had survived all of the ups and downs.
By the way, as of this date, 84 copies of the book have been sold. Being a writer is definitely NOT the way to make a living. :)
120811 I think I've calmed down
Seeing Abel's birth mother was a shock, there is no denying that. But, it was a shock because I let it be. She has no power over him anymore. She cannot physically hurt him ever again. I know that if he should think to look for her on Facebook, it will be a shock for him. But you know what? He is not that little boy anymore. He is not the out-of-control teen. He is a young man with coping skills better than most adults I know. He will handle it if it happens.
When Abel was about 14, before he went into the group home, our horses got out onto the highway that ran by our house. I ran out on the highway with lead ropes and halters, shouting at Abel to stand by the gate so that he could close it quickly after I chased them in. Cars are slamming on their brakes, I'm waving frantically to get people to stop, trying to get a rope on at least one horse, and Abel stands in the driveway, not moving.
"Abel! The gate!"
He doesn't move. Thankfully, the horses don't care for the screeching cars and headed back through the gates. "Shut it, quick!" He stands, unmoving, with an angry look on his face. At that point, he wasn't the only one with an angry look. I ran down, grabbed the gate and swung it closed.
"What the hell? Why didn't you close the gate?"
"Don't tell me what to do," he said, and walked back to the house. I was furious, frustrated, and my heart was still pounding from dodging cars and flying hooves. I could not understand why he couldn't do that one small thing, particularly in an emergency. I don't think he could have explained it to me.
Leap forward in time to last night. For several days, I had heard a cat meowing plaintively from across the street, but I couldn't figure out where the sound was coming from and I thought that whoever owned the cat would take care of whatever problem there was. Jacob went to a school function with friends last night, and as their car drove away, I heard the cat crying again. This time, I walked across the street as one of my neighbors came out. We quickly realized that the cat was up in a very tall, very bushy pine tree and that it had been stuck up there for several days. I called animal control, but they couldn't come out until the next day. I just couldn't stand the idea of that cat being up there hungry and thirsty, so I went home and yelled upstairs for Abel.
"What?"
"There's a cat stuck up in a tree. I need your help." And he came. He groaned a bit, but he came. And he and I and a couple of neighbors spent the next hour shining flashlights up in this tree, hauling out different ladders, carrying an open, dripping tuna fish can up into the branches to lure it down, and finally, having the great satisfaction of rescuing that cat. We both went home flushed with pleasure. It didn't matter that he'd had to leave his computer game. He sat in the livingroom with me and said two or three times how great it felt to save that cat.
He is not the same boy or man that he used to be. And as I see his heart growing to love his brother, his friends, and even some stray cat, I also see the strength in him growing to withstand the challenges ahead, even the challenge of confronting the knowledge that his birth mother still lives in this world.
Now if I can just confront that knowledge without wanting to form a ninja band of trauma mamas to hunt her down...
When Abel was about 14, before he went into the group home, our horses got out onto the highway that ran by our house. I ran out on the highway with lead ropes and halters, shouting at Abel to stand by the gate so that he could close it quickly after I chased them in. Cars are slamming on their brakes, I'm waving frantically to get people to stop, trying to get a rope on at least one horse, and Abel stands in the driveway, not moving.
"Abel! The gate!"
He doesn't move. Thankfully, the horses don't care for the screeching cars and headed back through the gates. "Shut it, quick!" He stands, unmoving, with an angry look on his face. At that point, he wasn't the only one with an angry look. I ran down, grabbed the gate and swung it closed.
"What the hell? Why didn't you close the gate?"
"Don't tell me what to do," he said, and walked back to the house. I was furious, frustrated, and my heart was still pounding from dodging cars and flying hooves. I could not understand why he couldn't do that one small thing, particularly in an emergency. I don't think he could have explained it to me.
Leap forward in time to last night. For several days, I had heard a cat meowing plaintively from across the street, but I couldn't figure out where the sound was coming from and I thought that whoever owned the cat would take care of whatever problem there was. Jacob went to a school function with friends last night, and as their car drove away, I heard the cat crying again. This time, I walked across the street as one of my neighbors came out. We quickly realized that the cat was up in a very tall, very bushy pine tree and that it had been stuck up there for several days. I called animal control, but they couldn't come out until the next day. I just couldn't stand the idea of that cat being up there hungry and thirsty, so I went home and yelled upstairs for Abel.
"What?"
"There's a cat stuck up in a tree. I need your help." And he came. He groaned a bit, but he came. And he and I and a couple of neighbors spent the next hour shining flashlights up in this tree, hauling out different ladders, carrying an open, dripping tuna fish can up into the branches to lure it down, and finally, having the great satisfaction of rescuing that cat. We both went home flushed with pleasure. It didn't matter that he'd had to leave his computer game. He sat in the livingroom with me and said two or three times how great it felt to save that cat.
He is not the same boy or man that he used to be. And as I see his heart growing to love his brother, his friends, and even some stray cat, I also see the strength in him growing to withstand the challenges ahead, even the challenge of confronting the knowledge that his birth mother still lives in this world.
Now if I can just confront that knowledge without wanting to form a ninja band of trauma mamas to hunt her down...
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